Sotto alla Corona
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I just now realised that the brutal image of a pyre has been camping out on my blog for a while.... As much as my post was coming from my heart, I don't want to give the idea that I am a militant gay-rights activist or a hater. I am not.
I am a father, a husband and a human being that tries to make the most of his time in this life.
Ivana, you are right, it's not worth it the waste of breath or the emotional aggravation on some people.
I am learning.
I can't forgive, that's not really me, when something breaks, it stays broken. But I can forget and move on. A real friendship never breaks beyond repair.
I was so busy defending myself that for a moment I lost sight of my son's little face, the one sight that proves that everything I feel is right, wholesome and amazing.
As we are preparing for a six weeks-long italian holiday in Rome, this shall be my last post for a while. I wanted to leave here a beautiful poem that my lovely Alessandra sent me this morning.
She did so after reading my latest post and she shone a bright light.
Thank you Ale.
I realise that my tone is somewhat sombre today, it's not meant to be, but I am waiting for some news from across the ocean where a friend is in a lot of pain.
He is a hero for maintaining his kindness through pain and his spirituality through hardship.
He is somebody's child as well, and his mum is with him in this difficult times. We all are.
This poem is also for them..... And for all of you.
See you in September.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
This was my reply, sent within one millionth of a second from having received her email.
I appreciate you being somewhat stunned by our exchange of blows on friday night, but please, take off the victim's mask. It's pathetic.
I know that all this is about is the fact that you can't handle anybody else's happiness. My you've changed. But you still bang on about all the rights you have! The right to your opinion, the right to offend, the right to provoke and hurt, the right to be a bitch.
You say that I am the hypocrite and the coward! Think what you like, cause I frankly don't give a shit.
I would have more respect for you if you just had written something like "Queers shouldn't be parents full stop!".
I have to say, I am shocked to know that there is no religious zeal behind your feelings and that this is your free mind thinking.
You have deprived me of my favourite excuse. You see, when someone I care about, lectures me on what is right or what is wrong about my choices, I always play the 'catholic intoxication' excuse card, I then simply agree to disagree and burn their picture in my head. It's a case lost in small mindedness.
With you, I had to accept the fact that you might just be plain stupid, and so arrogant in your stupidity. That makes you even more stupid.
Let me explain.
With one hand you offer me your congratulations, with the other you beat me up for having reached the goal you are congratulating me for; you look at our family as somewhat incomplete or weird although you are planning to have some random boyfriend's child and raise him/her on your own without even flinching.
You predict disaster with my son 'missing' his mum without ever stopping to consider that we are his doting parents, we are mum, dad and everything in between for him. Something you never had and will not understand.
He will be raised surrounded by love, protection and care. He will grow to love others as well as himself and the only problems I can envisage so far are the ones caused by people like you.
I tell you though, I am ready to take on any small minded fuck that tries to undermine my role as a parent or belittle our family and I am surprised I have to start with someone so close to home.
You need a good dose of reality, so wake up and smell the coffee.
You are absolutely right when you say that I am not making my situation any more right by comparing it to yours (not that I have to...), but I can tell you a couple of home truths.
You will never understand what it feels like to have a child in a loving and committed relationship, you will never understand what it feels like to look at your child and see the face of the man you love so much.
You will never shut your mouth to consider that, just because nature has made it possible for you to conceive more easily than us, you are a very poorly suited parent to any child.
You are a selfish and immature woman, one that smokes and drinks whilst pregnant.
Enough said really. No, wait, one last thing.
When your child is old enough, tell him/her what you told me at the pub. Say that you just wanted to become a mother because you were feeling the clock ticking and because you did not have the heart to go ahead with another abortion.
See what happens. I bet your child will wish he had two fags as parents instead of a selfish bitch like you.
I guess you can always lie.
Just like when you say that 'you can be happy for someone else's happiness without approving of their choices'. That's just plain bullshit.
Stop smoking you idiot.
I do wish your baby every happiness, hopefully he/she will be able to teach you something, if not about life, then surely about love.