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my name is Alexi Theodorus III, son of Alexi Theodorus II, grandson of Alexi Theodorus I, royal footmen to Catherine the Great of Russia and Gustav III of Sweden.
I am The Queen Father's newly appointed footman.
I shall be taking care of things around here whilst my Master is away. Please pay me no heed.
Should you require anything at all, just ring the bell, or just do as my Master does and shout: ALEXI!
My Master shall return within two weeks. Please bear him no ill will for his yearly leave, I understand that you shall miss him so; however this is a much needed pause from his gruelling schedule and
I trust the bitch, He shall be back as vibrant as ever.

Submissively Yours,

Alexi Theodorus III

That fucking bitch has left me NO FLIES to eat whatsoever..... What does he expect me to feed on? Cake?  I'm gonna shit all over this place, big time......